Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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