oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
