either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
