I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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