my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
