he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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