"it" just moved
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
