covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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