hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
