if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
