I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
