the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
