when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize