The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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