one might say we're banned from that church
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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