some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
