508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
