oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
