she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
