I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize