Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
