see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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