so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize