This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
