I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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