I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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