If i come over, it means nothing
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
