dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize