I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
