so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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