Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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