You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
