i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
