I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
