i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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