I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
