Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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