are you still at the devil's house?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
