I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
