Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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