I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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