i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
