did you get engaged???
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
