Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize