No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
