what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
