What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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