my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
