i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
