Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
