Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Randomize
