but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize