I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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