he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
