I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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