Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
