found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
