What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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