I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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