He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
