This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
